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Taking the first steps towards understanding and bettering yourself can be filled with unknowns, which can be scary. Change is uncomfortable for a reason, but that doesn't mean therapy can't be both nerve-wracking and exciting. Having your first meeting with your therapist might give you that feeling of missing that step on the staircase, but your therapist is there to remind you that the rest of the staircase is still there before you. 

This blog post is going to be a quick guide on what to expect during your initial therapy session to help you feel more at ease and prepared for the journey ahead. So let's begin!

1. A Warm Welcome and Introductions

Whether you are seeing your therapist in person or remotely, you will start with a warm introduction to make the space feel welcoming and safe.  Your therapist will introduce themselves, explain the therapy process, and outline their approach to ensure you are comfortable and know what to expect. 

2. Building a Therapeutic Alliance

The first session is all about building trust and rapport. Your therapist will listen actively to your concerns, emotions, and experiences without judgment. This is a good time for you to ask any questions and be honest about how you're feeling about the process! 

This alliance is the foundation for your therapeutic journey, so honesty is key here. Your therapist can guide you in managing or exploring the feelings that arise and use that to better guide your time together.

3. Sharing Your Story

You'll have the opportunity to share your story, including why you chose to start your therapy journey now and what the challenges you're facing have looked and felt like. Your therapist will listen attentively, ask clarifying questions, and provide empathy. This will make sure they understand your experience, which will help to best guide the next step - goal setting.

4. Goal Setting

Together, you and your therapist will set goals for therapy, or what I like to call “the recipe book” for your time together. These goals will guide your sessions and help you work towards positive changes in your life that align with your values and needs.

Some clients prefer more concrete goals and objectives that will keep them on track and motivated through the therapy process. This helps to navigate weekly assignments, sustain accountability outside of the therapy space, and track progress.

Others prefer to be more fluid in their therapy process, whereas there is an overarching goal, but how it is achieved is less concrete. This would look more like a "we'll see where the week takes us" approach.

Speak with your therapist to explore your needs and goals to see which approach might work best for you!

5. Exploring Your Needs and Concerns

Your therapist will explore your needs, concerns, and the areas you'd like to focus on. They will gather relevant information to tailor the therapy to your unique circumstances. It's important to check in on this at the end of each session and every few weeks to make sure you are pleased with how sessions are going, how you are progressing, and what to consider for the future.

6. Unpacking Emotions

Therapy is a space to process emotions. Your therapist will help you navigate feelings like anxiety, sadness, or confusion, offering support and coping strategies. Understanding your body’s response to different emotions and experiences is a truly empowering skill. 

Challenge yourself to be honest with yourself and what is coming up for you in the moment. This will allow you the space to talk challenges through with your therapist, practice speaking your mind, and create space to try new tools in the moment.

I highly recommend the Mood Tools app to help process thoughts and emotions or the Thought Detox website to get unhelpful thoughts out of your head.

7. Discussing Treatment Approach

Your therapist will explain the treatment approach they recommend, whether it's Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness, or other modalities. They'll discuss how the approach aligns with your goals and what this will look like to make sure you're on board and understand the upcoming flow of your sessions.

8. Answering Your Questions

Feel free to ask any questions you have about the therapy process, confidentiality, or the therapist's background. Transparency is essential in therapy.

Example:

• If you're seeking therapy for anxiety, your first session may involve discussing your triggers, coping mechanisms, and the impact of anxiety on your daily life.

• For couples therapy, you and your partner may talk about your relationship dynamics, communication patterns, and areas of conflict.

• If you're in therapy for grief and loss, you might explore your feelings of loss, coping with the void, and ways to process your emotions.

The first session of therapy is a pivotal moment in your journey toward healing and growth. It's a safe space to explore your emotions, set goals, and build a strong therapeutic alliance. Embrace this opportunity to be open, honest, and vulnerable, as it lays the foundation for a transformative and empowering experience. Remember, your therapist is there to support you every step of the way, helping you navigate life's challenges and empowering you to thrive.

Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨

7/27/2023

The bond between humans and animals is a profound connection, unlike most other relationships we have in this life. Our pets are loyal companions, but often go beyond that, feeling much like a child or sibling. These animals offer unconditional love, comfort, and joy throughout their lives. However, with the joy of their presence comes the pain of saying goodbye. Navigating the loss of a pet is a deeply emotional journey, but it is also an opportunity for healing and finding solace. Here, we will explore the grieving process, offer action steps for coping with the loss of a pet, and understand the impact of the extraordinary bond we share with our animal companions.

The relationship between humans and pets transcends words. It's a unique bond that brings joy, emotional support, and a sense of purpose into our lives. Pets become part of our families, and their presence brings an unmatched joy to our daily experiences. This level of love, loyalty, and companionstip makes the loss feel earth-shattering. We become empty.

Grieving the loss of a pet is a natural and valid emotional process. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It'ss important to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself the time and space to heal. Here are some ways to navigate and find peace through your grieving journey:

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come up—sadness, guilt, anger, or loneliness. Embrace these feelings as part of the healing process. Know that they are coming up because of the special relationship you had with your animal. This can look like saying to yourself, "It's ok to be sad right now! [pet name] was a huge part of my life and this hole feels so large because they were so important to me. I will learn to enjoy my life in a new way from the experiences I had with them."

2. Create a Memorial: Create a special memorial to honor your pet's memory. This can look like a photo album, a memory box, or planting a tree or flowers in their honor.

3. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who have experienced a similar loss. Connecting with others who understand your grief can be comforting and make the experience less stigmatized or isolating.

4. Share Stories: Share stories and memories of your pet with loved ones. Celebrate their life and the joy they brought to your life.

5. Journal Your Feelings: Keep a grief journal so you can express your thoughts and feelings. Writing can be a therapeutic outlet for processing emotions as well as a spiritual journey for you to connect with your lost loved one. I always offer Mood Tools (app) or Thought Detox (website) as resources to reflect.

6. Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Make sure you get enough rest, eat well, and engage in activities that fill up your emotional and physical cups. You might try a new walking route, cook a new recipe, make time to speak with supportive friends, or try a new hobby!

7. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If grief becomes overwhelming and affects your daily life, consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor specializing in grief and loss. Some symptoms you might recognize are uncontrollable crying, inability to engage socially or manage daily tasks or hygiene, intense emotional pain, reluctance to acknowledge the loss, and much more.

8. Express Gratitude: Focus on the gratitude you feel for the time you had with your pet. Expressing thanks for the love and companionship they brought into your life can be comforting. A daily list of a few things you're grateful for or a "gratitude jar" for a smaller, daily activity that you can look back on in a different way.

9. Create a Keepsake: Consider creating a keepsake as a reminder of your beloved pet. This can look like their name tag or ashes on a necklace, keeping a photo of them in a special place, or having their fur or pawprint somewhere in your home or on your body as a tattoo or jewelry.

10. Focus on Routines: The routine we create with our pets can become second nature. Continuing to go on your favorite walk path, sitting at the dog park, or continuing to spend time with the human friends you met through your dogs can be incredibly meaningful. You might also consider gradually establishing new routines to adjust to life without your pet. Allow yourself the time and space to heal at your own pace.

While the pain of losing a pet may never fully go away, the healing process allows you to find comfort and carry their memory with love. Embrace the fond memories, the laughter, and the love shared with your furry friend. In time, the grief will transform into beautiful memories that will one day bring a smile to your face.

Saying goodbye to a pet is a journey of love, loss, and healing. The bond we share with our animal companions is extraordinary, and the impact of their presence in our lives cannot be overstated. Allow yourself to grieve, seek support from loved ones, and embrace the memories that will forever live in your heart. Remember that you provided your pet with a lifetime of love, care, and happiness. As you navigate this journey of loss, cherish the moments of joy and unconditional love that you shared, knowing that the love between you and your pet will remain forever etched in your heart.

Whether you are personally experiencing this loss or sharing with a friend, please know my heart is with you and your loved ones at this time. May your sweet baby rest in peace.

Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨

7/27/2023

When I was in graduate school, getting my Masters in Social Work, I came across a quote that changed my entire practice. It read, “You may have nothing in common, but you’re together in that room. And often, that is more than enough.”

As a fully functioning adult at the time, who also happened to get confused for a teenager on multiple occasions, this resonated deeply.

The effectiveness of therapy has little to do with our age or shared experiences. It does, however, have everything to do with the therapeutic alliance, skills of the therapist, and willingness of the client to be engaged in the process wholeheartedly. 

Here, I want to share with you some important pieces of the therapeutic process to consider as you move through your own therapy journey, whether this be the start, middle, or end.

1. Focus on Therapeutic Expertise

Shift the focus from age or life experiences to the therapist's expertise and qualifications. A skilled therapist can understand and support you regardless of their age. 

It's human tendency to want to be understood and to find connection with others. However, the therapy space is meant to be an unbiased, non-judgemental space. Oftentimes, having your therapist be unaccustomed to a specific situation can be more beneficial. It offers another perspective that allows you to see outside of your own lens, bringing in new ideas and options for you to live a life you feel proud of!

2. Embrace Empathy and Understanding

A skilled therapist brings empathy and understanding to the space, which enables them to empathize with your experiences and emotions, regardless of their personal background.

3. Establish Trust and Open Communication

Prioritize building trust and open communication with your therapist. A strong therapeutic alliance creates a safe space for growth and healing. Plus, the more honest you can be with your therapist, the more understanding they will have about how you live your life and what might not be working for you anymore.

4. Recognize Therapeutic Techniques and Approaches

Explore the therapeutic techniques and approaches your therapist uses. Their expertise lies in their training and ability to tailor treatment to your unique needs. Several therapy modalities support different diagnoses and client needs. Speak with your therapist about what is and is not working about your sessions, making sure there is time in each session for reflection and feedback.

5. Emphasize the Power of Connection

The healing power of therapy lies in the authentic connection between you and your therapist. A supportive therapeutic relationship facilitates personal growth and positive change. When we feel connected to those supporting us, we embrace a sense of authenticity and autonomy, which can encourage us to be persistent in instances where we might have felt powerless.

Therapy thrives on objectivity and trust, enabling unbiased insights and a safe space for self-expression. Embracing the unfamiliar in therapy opens doors to transformative breakthroughs and a deeper understanding of who you are and can become. Remember that your therapist is a guide in this journey, and by honoring the uniqueness of the therapeutic connection, you can achieve profound healing and self-awareness on your path to wellness.

Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨

7/30/2023

It’s 2023. The age of fast-paced connections and virtual relationships are well upon us, and it's easier than ever to vanish into the virtual void. Here, we’ll explore a topic that I get asked about frequently - the art of closing out a therapeutic relationship without ghosting the therapist.

Ghosting - the act of suddenly cutting off all communication - has unfortunately seeped into the realm of therapy as well. When you ghost your therapist, you not only leave them clueless about your progress but also deprive yourself of the support and growth you truly deserve. 

As the name of this practice alludes, therapy is a space to practice the interactions that we might find most intimidating. So what are we gaining if we ghost our therapist? Just like we wouldn't leave our favorite ice cream melting on the sidewalk, we might benefit from thinking similarly about our therapeutic journey - don’t leave it hanging!

Respecting your therapist and yourself means expressing your feelings and reasons for parting ways openly. It allows your therapist to gain valuable feedback, learn, and adapt their approach for future clients. It's an opportunity for you to explore the thoughts and emotions surrounding the decision, fostering self-awareness and closure.

Remember, your therapist is here for you, and no matter how tough or tangled your thoughts may be, they're ready to help navigate the maze with you. So, instead of ghosting, although tempting, let’s explore some alternatives that open the lines of communication and pave the way for understanding growth, and healing, even in the closure.

1. Initiate the Conversation: When something doesn't feel right or this is no longer the right time or space for you to continue your therapeutic journey, take the courageous step of initiating the conversation with your therapist. 

2. Be Honest: Embrace honesty in your communication. Share your feelings openly and kindly, without the fear of judgment. Your therapist will appreciate your openness, and it can lead to a more meaningful dialogue.

3. Acknowledge the Connection: Recognize the connection you've established with your therapist. Express gratitude for their efforts and the progress made during your therapeutic journey.

4. Discuss Your Reasons: Whether it be financial constraints, goodness of fit, or other reasons that are contributing to your decision, talk about them! Your therapist might have suggestions or resources to support you in finding alternative options.

5. Timing is Essential: Choose an appropriate time to discuss ending the therapeutic relationship. Avoid leaving it until the last moment or at the end of a session, as this may not allow for a comprehensive conversation.

6. Be Open to Reflection: Be open to discussing any concerns or issues that may have contributed to your decision. It's an opportunity for self-growth and understanding patterns that could be addressed in the future.

Closure allows us to honor the past, embrace the present, and welcome the future. By not leaving a relationship without a proper goodbye, we foster respect, gratitude, and a sense of peace that can serve as a foundation for the next chapter of our lives. It's a gesture of kindness to ourselves and those who have supported us along the way.

So, my readers, when it's time to part ways with your therapist, do it with grace and appreciation. You are the author of your life's story, and each chapter, including the one with your therapist, contributes to the masterpiece you're creating. Embrace closure, embrace growth, and embrace the beauty of new beginnings.

Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨

9/4/2023

We've all been there. We search high and low for a doctor with good reviews who is in our area and takes our insurance with an appointment available in the next century. If we're lucky, we get a referral from a friend or other trusted source. But most likely, we're just taking the first appointment we can get. For almost everyone, finding a quality medical team is a vulnerable and sensitive experience. For some, this process is more annoying than daunting. For those who have experienced trauma, a trauma-informed medical team that understands the complexities of trauma and provides compassionate care is essential for fostering a safe and healing environment. 

I've had so many people ask how to find a trauma-informed medical team, so here we will discuss the difficulties that may be presented in this search while offering practical guidance on how to identify the right healthcare professionals for your needs.

The Challenge of Finding Trustworthy Care:

In the search for a trauma-informed medical team, one of the key challenges is the difficulty in figuring out whether a medical professional has the knowledge and sensitivity required to provide adequate care. Trauma can manifest in various ways, affecting both physical and mental health, making it crucial to have a medical team that can address the multifaceted needs of the patient.

Building Trust with a Doctor:

Trusting a doctor, or anyone for that matter, is a gradual process, especially for those with a history of trauma. To establish trust:

• Research and Ask for Referrals: Start your search by getting recommendations from friends, family, therapists, or support groups who have experience with trauma-informed care. Research online reviews and consider reaching out to local mental health organizations for suggestions.

• Open Communication: During your initial consultation, speak openly about your trauma history, concerns, and expectations. A trauma-informed doctor will listen attentively, validate your feelings, and provide information on how they plan to address your needs given the scope of their practice.

• Respect for Boundaries: A trauma-informed doctor understands the importance of boundaries. They will respect your comfort level and never push you to discuss details you aren't ready to share.

• Collaborative Approach: Look for a medical professional who adopts a collaborative approach to your care. They will involve you in decision-making, explain treatment options clearly, and adapt their approach based on your input.

• Empathy and Compassion: A trauma-informed doctor shows genuine empathy and compassion. They understand that your experiences may affect your overall well-being and will approach your care holistically.

Finding a Trauma-Informed Medical Team:

Whether you're searching for a Primary Care Physician (PCP), an Obstetrician-Gynecologist (OBG), or any other healthcare specialist, these guidelines can help you find a trauma-informed medical team:

• PCP Selection:

  • Specialization in Trauma Care: Look for a PCP who has experience or specialized training in trauma care. This might involve a background in psychology, psychiatry, or related fields.

  • Patient-Centered Approach: A trauma-informed PCP prioritizes your needs and preferences, creating a safe space for discussions and treatments.

  • Referrals and Collaboration: They should be well-connected with other specialists and therapists to provide comprehensive care. Collaborative care ensures a holistic approach to your well-being by connecting themselves to your other healthcare professionals.

• OBG Choice:

  • Sensitive Pregnancy and Birth Care: For individuals with trauma histories, pregnancy and childbirth can set off distressing emotions. Seek an OBG who is well-versed in trauma-informed maternity care.

  • Communication Skills: A trauma-informed OBG will maintain open lines of communication, respecting your choices and concerns throughout the pregnancy journey.

  • Postpartum Support: Look for a healthcare professional who offers postpartum support, understanding that the period after childbirth can also be challenging for trauma survivors.

Finding a trauma-informed medical team requires diligence, research, and open communication with some aspects you might not feel comfortable initially discussing. The process may involve some trial and error, but the effort is well worth the reward of receiving compassionate care tailored to your unique needs. Remember that you have the right to prioritize your well-being and to seek healthcare providers who are aligned with your values and comfort level. 

I hope that by adhering to some of the guidelines in this article, you can pave the way toward healing and improved overall health with a medical team that truly understands and supports your journey.

Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨

10/11/2023

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal disorder that affects people with ovaries. It's not just about irregular periods and fertility challenges; PCOS can also have a significant impact on mental health. In this blog post, we'll explore how PCOS and menstrual cycles can affect mental well-being and offer support for those navigating this journey.

The PCOS-Mental Health Connection:

PCOS is characterized by hormonal imbalances, insulin resistance, and the development of small cysts on the ovaries. While these physical symptoms are well-documented, the emotional toll of PCOS is often overlooked.

• Anxiety and Depression: Many individuals with PCOS report higher levels of anxiety and depression. The hormonal imbalances associated with PCOS can lead to mood swings, irritability, and feelings of hopelessness.

• Body Image Concerns: PCOS often comes with weight gain and difficulty losing weight. This can lead to body image issues and low self-esteem, which can further contribute to mental health challenges.

• Social and Emotional Impact: Coping with irregular periods, fertility issues, and the unpredictability of PCOS symptoms can be emotionally draining. This can strain relationships and lead to feelings of isolation.

Managing PCOS-Related Mental Health Challenges:

• Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling with your mental health due to PCOS, don't hesitate to seek help. A therapist or counselor can provide valuable support and coping strategies.

• Physical Self-Care: Prioritize a balanced diet and regular exercise. Consult a healthcare provider for guidance on managing weight and insulin resistance.

• Support Groups: Joining a PCOS support group or seeking an online community can help you connect with others facing similar challenges. Sharing experiences and advice can be incredibly empowering.

• Educate Yourself: Understanding PCOS and its effects on mental health is the first step. Knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions about your health and seek the right treatment.

Remember, you're strong, and you can overcome the challenges that PCOS brings your way. Together, we can raise awareness and support each other on this journey. 💙 #PCOSMentalHealth #YouAreNotAlone

By shedding light on the connection between PCOS and mental health, we can offer support, understanding, and hope to those facing this often misunderstood condition.

Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨