IF YOU ARE HAVING A MENTAL HEALTH EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911, 988, OR
Written by Samantha Arfin, LCSW‑C
You’re staring at the clock. Your session starts in two minutes. You don’t know whether to write down every thought you're having, clean the background of your video screen, or bail entirely and change your name.
What if I talk too much?
What if I don’t say enough?
What if I cry?
What if I sit there and say, “I don’t know, I just feel off,” and my therapist is like… okay, now what?
Let me stop you right there.
This is exactly what the first session is for.
Most people show up to therapy unsure of what to say.
Some clients talk the entire session, like they’ve been holding their breath for years and finally get to exhale. Others barely speak and just need time to warm up. Either is fine. There’s no “right” way to do this.
My job in the first session is to help you feel safe enough to start, whatever that looks like for you.
1. We Start Slow
You’ll get a quick breakdown of what therapy looks like with me: what’s confidential, what to expect, how to contact me, what I won’t do (like give advice you didn’t ask for), and what you can always count on (a nonjudgmental space to be exactly where you are).
No pop quizzes. No spotlights. Just you, me, and sometimes a few dogs.
2. You Get to Say Why You’re Here (Even If You’re Not Totally Sure)
Maybe you’ve been feeling anxious, disconnected, or like you’re just going through the motions. Maybe you’re burned out, or always tired, or in the middle of a big transition. Maybe you just know something’s not right, even if you can’t name it yet.
You’re allowed to say “I’m not sure where to start.”
That’s a valid place to begin.
And that’s okay.
Starting therapy is vulnerable. It’s a new relationship. A new space. And it’s asking your body and brain to stop performing, stop pretending, and actually slow down long enough to feel something.
That doesn’t always happen on day one. That’s not a sign you’re “doing it wrong.”
It’s just how trust gets built, little by little.
What’s been hard lately
What your day-to-day actually feels like
What made you reach out for therapy now
What you hope will be different, even if you don’t know how to get there
How you’ve been coping (or not)
Any past therapy experiences: what worked, what didn’t
Any identities, relationships, or stressors that matter to who you are
We don’t have to cover it all. We just need a starting point.
Want to know what kind of therapy I use? Ask.
Worried you might trauma-dump too fast? Say that.
Feel nervous that you’ll freeze up and go blank? We can work with that too.
Want to know If I'm in therapy? I'll tell you right now - YES! I couldn't expect you to be vulnerable with me if I dont know how to be vulnerable myself. We all have something to work through.
This is a space where you get to show up however you are. You don’t have to impress me. You don’t need to have a neat narrative about your childhood. You don’t need a diagnosis or a 10-point plan.
You just need to be here. We’ll figure out the rest together.
Here’s your reminder:
You’re not too broken.
You’re not too late.
You’re not wasting anyone’s time.
Therapy isn’t just for crisis. It’s for you.
The real you. The tired you. The curious you. The version of you who wants more peace, more clarity, more agency, and maybe doesn’t quite know how to get there yet.
At The Mind Lab, I work with clients across Maryland and New York who are ready to show up, dig in, and build a version of their life that feels authentic. Whether you’re brand new to therapy or just new to me, your first session is the beginning of something important, meaningful, and awesome.
We’re not solving everything in 50 minutes.
But we’re starting.
And that counts for more than you think.
See you in there!
Stay curious, stay informed, stay awesome ✨